Sunil Shetty’s birth plan tip: Skip the vaginal trauma, opt for abdominal trauma—it’s just comfier.

Mumbai, MH – Instead of quietly basking in the joy of becoming a first-time grandfather, actor Sunil Shetty has chosen a more noble pursuit: offering expert commentary on the one thing he has zero experience in—pushing a baby out of a vagina. In a stunning medical breakthrough, Mr. Shetty has declared that women who opt for C-sections 'lack strength.' Yes, because nothing screams weakness quite like someone slicing through your abdominal wall, digging around your organs, pulling out a human, and then sewing you back up like a badly torn suitcase. All while being told to 'rest' for six weeks with a newborn glued to your chest. 'Shetty seems to think a C-section is some kind of luxury spa package,' said one OB-GYN, visibly restraining herself from rolling her eyes into another dimension. The actor also cited how 'every nurse and pediatrician said it’s unbelievable how she went through it all'—a heartwarming quote that sounds even more impressive until you remember these professionals see about 300 births a month and don’t usually faint with awe when a woman... gives birth. In response, women across India have banded together to gift Mr. Shetty a pregnancy simulator—set to the highest difficulty level, of course. Sources confirm the plan is to crank it up until he either reconsiders his stance or cries for his mother. Or both. Stay tuned as we wait for Sunil Shetty’s next hot take: maybe he'll weigh in on menopause, or how 'period cramps are probably just a mindset thing.'