Can I be Born as a Dog in my next life?

 I have never believed in the cycles of reincarnation. I mean you're telling me if I did enough good deeds in my previous life I would be rewarded with the ultimate prize--coming back as a human? I mean what kind of scam is this?. Why would I even be want to reborn as a human? What's the appeal? Taxes, Depression? Anxiety about how much of a loser you are while all your peers seem to have got it together? Being human is just a painful audition of who can suffer the most under their capitalistic  overlords and binge watch shows they don't even like illegally because they don't have the money to subscribe to all the streaming platforms. If that's enlightenment, count me out. Honestly, being reborn as a human sounds more like the punishment tier. After a vigorous scientific analysis, I have come to the conclusion that if I had to be reincarnated, I was going to game the system by doing just enough good deeds to be reborn as  'Sir Caesar' the beloved emotional support dog of a rich women named Paris who became a billionaire after a divorce and has no one else but me. I'll eat gourmet kibble that costs more than rent. I'll go to doggy spas and get facials I don’t need. I’ll wear little sweaters that match my owner's purse. And the best part? I’ll spend my entire reincarnated existence lying in the sun, getting belly rubs, and being called a 'brave little man' for simply existing.