Indian Grandparents enter mourning at the hospital as their granddaughter is born a cinnamon goddess instead of a vanilla queen

Mumbai, MH-- Relatives of the Mehra family gathered at the St. Mary hospital to offer their solemn condolences to the newly minted parents on their daughter tragically turning out to be five whole shades darker than either of her fair skinned parents. 'We asked for 50 shades of white and what we got was 50 shades of brown', quipped one uncle clearly devastated by the misfortune of others in his family. 'If an expectant mother spends a lot of time with dark skinned children, then her own child would inevitably turn dark too. It's the evolutionary theory of heredity, beta.', a more concerned auntie was reported issuing this as a cautionary tale to the rest of the women in her family. 'I mean I was benevolent enough to accept her when we bribed the doctor to confirm the baby's gender. The least she could do is be fair.', the distraught grandmother was reported saying tearfully to her relatives. In a truly heart felt display of togetherness, everyone rallied behind the devastated family, providing the most practical advice to the parents. 'Just mummify the baby with bandages head to toe', they suggested, 'So not a single ray of sunlight can get through to reach her. They paused for a moment and then added, 'If worse comes to worst and she is not a white woman by 21, we can just resort to Radium-266 to at least give her a fighting chance at a dignified life. Hey, she might not get married, but she will at least glow in the dark.''